The 2022 Flushies, Off The Grid Greenville's Bathroom Superlative Awards
Welcome to Off The Grid Greenville’s toilet superlative awards, where the puns and middle school jokes we can’t normally use actually have a place.
And where you might find a reason to giggle in the middle of what has turned out to be quite a crappy start to the year.
We have so enjoyed compiling this list of worthy washrooms over the last year, but we can’t hold it any longer.
So please enjoy our celebration of some of the most recently discovered lavish latrines and a few older porcelain thrones that until now, hadn’t made the list.
And of course, thank you, GVL, for giving a sh!t.
Compiled by: TEAM OTGG
Exclusive Photography: FishEye Studios, Greenville, SC
…with so many porta potties to choose from, it’s a treat to sit in this retreat by the stage bedecked in festival history.
“Welcome, all” is the motto of the Upstate bi-annual Skunk Festival where hospitality doesn’t stop even when it comes to taking that private moment. Posters from past festivals line the walls for some entertaining reading material but don’t camp out too long. With running water, plenty of toilet paper, and a lock you can keep your eye on, the line for this enviable potty grows longer every minute.
Most Likely to be Sponsored by the Humane Society
Q: What do you call a dog you find in the bathroom?
A: A POOdle 😜
A holdover from the original GB&D location, these walls of good boys and girls keep the human occupants from feeling even a twinge of loneliness. Or maybe it just reminds you of how your furry best friends are always by your side, even whilst taking care of business. Either way, take a quick read while you pop a squat and discover some names that may inspire your next pet adoption.
As statement art lovers, we can’t help but lurve “Banksy.”
Most Likely to Fall In
The Rabbit Hole
Anyone else either prank your siblings or fall victim to the ol’ seat-up-on-the-toilet trick? It’s a stink or swim moment. Thankfully, that’s not what we’re talking about here… (really, how many jokes could we make that we won’t?)
Newly opened, The Rabbit Hole has made a splash for both its stellar wine list and also its Alice in Wonderland-themed WC that will have you falling into a dream-like state, but only until the next visitor wanting to sneak a peek knocks on the door.
Why build a bathroom like this?
"Why not??”
This immersive experience is explained by Rabbit Hole Owner, Sebastian Carter, “When I began creating the Rabbit Hole space, I always envisioned a bathroom that would come as a whimsical experience.
Never did I think this would become as big of a talking topic as it has. But to see and hear the responses and appreciation from those who experience it definitely brings a smile to our faces, with more interesting twists and additions to come. We hope your journey down the Rabbit Hole will always be an adventure. How far will you explore?”
Most Inclusive
HipBurger
We’re all about celebrating diversity and inclusivity at OTGG, and we like this vibe, especially during this never-ending germ war. Remember, NO MATTER WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE WE DON’T GIVE A $H!T, JUST WASH YOUR HANDS. Please, and thank you.
Most Premium Amenities
We like details. And the Wine House owners have paid attention. While those special touches might not be as obvious as some of the other throne rooms on our list, rest assured they are present and accounted for.
The first-class body products (hand soap, lotion) and Diptyque candles making your private time a pleasure are the same ones the owners use at their own homes. Next time you’re in the market for a couple of glasses or a bottle, don’t miss the chance for a premium potty experience, too.
Most Selfied
CAMP
While a picture may be worth a thousand words, the picture is the story at CAMP with restrooms fit for the IG Kings and Queens and their followers. And frankly, with the stunning wallpapers’ providing the perfect backdrop in both restrooms, actually using the toilets might be priority No. 2.
Tag #theflushies #offthegridgreenvilleflushies
on your next CAMP selfie
Most Committed to a Color
So there are color palettes, and then there is this dedication to a single hue we have yet to encounter elsewhere. And tile to boot! Easy to hose down and most likely to resist a rogue Sharpie-ing . . . or worse.
We applaud this pink potty, rosé restroom, blush bathroom, and light red lavatory, for being as committed to the monochrome as we are to alliteration.
Luxest Loo
This sexy little number…
is a lil fancy mixed with a lot of luxe. In its evening attire, this normally dark, candle-lit lounge is the perfect spot for feeling the mood on your next date night. Plus we all know that hand towels are better than roses. Trust us on this one.
Most Gruesome Potty
Greenville Army Store
It wouldn’t be the Flushies if we didn’t include this oasis. Once again, the honor of the most gruesome potty goes to the newest location of the Greenville Army Store on Laurens Road.
Trigger warning: we don’t want you to see something that might burn your eyes, so we’ll let this little crab do the looking for you. (Random trivia: this crab is a staple from the downtown Greenville Army Store’s latrine.) While Owner Jeff Zaglin admits that the original location is the real winner, this one comes in a very close second place.
Thank you, Greenville, for playing along with the 2022 Flushies.
Keep your eye on our social media platforms to check out this year’s trophies and winners!
Comments are open below if you would like to nominate your favorite place to take a break.